so, honestly ... / by jen geigley

(photo from nirrimi)
Lately, there has been a refreshing dose of 'getting real' around the blogs that I frequent. You know, we're crafty and we share tutorials and take pictures of our feet and everything is sunshine, vintage dresses and washi tape.

I think we all sometimes yearn to share a bit more than that. But it's risky to put yourself out there. You could be setting yourself up for disaster ... ridicule. But when you're already putting so much out there, it doesn't always feel authentic to share anything at all unless you sometimes dish out the bad with the good.

For me, it all started with this post from VeryPurplePerson, a fantastically talented seamstress who lives in Japan. I had never imagined from her beautiful photos, perfect dresses and seemingly lovely life that she had some pretty huge things to confess. I was bowled over by her honesty.

Leigh-Ann totally had me when she started writing out her Odyssey on her blog. I've been skimming through most of the things in my google reader lately, but I stopped dead in my tracks when I read what Leigh-Ann was getting ready to share. She promised to be candid, brave and authentic. I started reading and I was amazed at how much the same we all are. Us girls. We all have a long story behind us, whether it's pretty or pretty horrible or a combination of the two.

And then there's Kara, who we can all agree is wise beyond her years. Her fearless sharing and outpouring of her worries and triumphs and mini-freak outs has held my attention and I've long admired her for not caring whether people thought she was emo or not. Encouraging people to stay positive but to also not be ashamed of the bad stuff? Ummm, okay!

I can be overenthusiastic. It's not fake; I'm just like that. I can also be pretty selfish. And impatient. And stubborn. I'm an over-apologizer. I'm socially awkward. I have major OCD tendencies. And I'm a music snob.

For a long time, I struggled with an eating disorder. This is hard for me to talk about but I know it's okay to share, even if it's just to help someone else know that they're not alone (and that it is possible to make it to the other side.)

When I was younger, I had a hard time being friends with girls. I hung out with the art room kids. I loved marching band. I was nerdy, scrawny, awkward, insecure and usually felt like an outsider. In high school, I won the vote for quietest girl in our class. I think I'm finally growing out of my shyness.

My childhood started off pretty good but then got really hard and complicated ... (but this is too long of a story to share today.)

I'm totally afraid of being a not-good-enough wife and mom. With a not-clean-enough house. But I love my husband and my kid fiercely and hold on tightly to what we've got.

I'm a Christian. And I suck at going to church.

I am not afraid to mess things up. And at the same time, I'm really really afraid to mess things up.